{"id":913,"date":"2011-10-23T20:45:20","date_gmt":"2011-10-23T20:45:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cnrv.ro\/apostolul\/?p=913"},"modified":"2011-10-23T20:45:20","modified_gmt":"2011-10-23T20:45:20","slug":"bai-l-ai-luat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/divertisment\/bai-l-ai-luat\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201eB\u0102I, L-AI LUAT?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Numai \u00een Rom\u00e2nia, c\u00eend se vorbe\u015fte despre &#8222;bac&#8221;, e folosit verbul  \u201ca lua&#8221;. \u00cen Occidentul opulent, la mod\u0103 sunt no\u0163iunile \u201cabsolvire\u201d sau &#8222;promovare&#8221;. Numai la noi, rom\u00e2nii, dup\u0103 fiecare \u201cbac\u201d se scot bancuri. Pilde?<\/p>\n<p>Examen de &#8222;bac&#8221;. Profu conduce ostilit\u0103\u0163ile. \u00centrebare de nota zece: \u201cCum m\u0103 numesc eu? To\u0163i tac chitic. \u00centrebare de opt: \u201cCe culoare are manualul?&#8221; lini\u015fte profund\u0103. \u00centrebare de cinci: \u201cLa ce obiect da\u0163i examen?&#8221; Din  ultimele r\u00eenduri se aude: \u201cVrea s\u0103 ne pice porcul!&#8221;. <\/p>\n<p>Ion c\u0103tre vecinul s\u0103u: \u201cNae, \u015ftiu c\u0103 fiic\u0103 ta face vidiochart . Ha, ha, ha!&#8221;<br \/>\nVecinul: \u201cUnde m\u0103? O omor\u2026&#8221;<br \/>\nIon: \u201cLa bacalaoriat!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Examen oral la rom\u00e2n\u0103. Dup\u0103 ce candidatul e tuf\u0103 de Vene\u0163ia, proful \u00eei spune:<br \/>\n\u201cNota pe care \u0163i-o pot acorda \u00eencepe cu P. \u015etii care e?&#8221;<br \/>\n\u201cPinci, dom&#8217; profesor! Pinci!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Contesta\u0163ie la \u201cbac&#8221;.<br \/>\n\u201cDom&#8217; profesor, de ce mi-a\u0163i pus patru?&#8221;<br \/>\n\u201cDou\u0103 puncte sunt din oficiu, un punct pentru c\u0103 a\u0163i venit la examen, iar ultimul deoarece v-a\u0163i scremut pu\u0163in!&#8221;<br \/>\n\u201cNu a\u0163i putea s\u0103-mi da\u0163i un punct \u015fi pentru c\u0103 plec de la examen?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Examen oral. Proful \u00eentreab\u0103:<br \/>\n\u201cM\u0103car \u015ftii ce e aia examen?&#8221;<br \/>\n\u201cDa, e atunci c\u00eend doi oameni inteligen\u0163i vorbesc \u00eentre ei&#8221;<br \/>\n\u201c\u015ei dac\u0103 unul din ei este idiot?&#8221;<br \/>\n\u201cCel\u0103lalt nu ia &#8222;bac-ul&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>O victim\u0103 intr\u0103 \u00een sala de examen. Pune pe masa comisiei de evaluare o sticl\u0103 de whisky. Pre\u015fedintele zice. \u201cSatisf\u0103c\u0103tor!&#8221; Candidatul pluseaz\u0103 cu o cutie de ciocolat\u0103. P: \u201cBine!&#8221;. Liceanul arat\u0103 un stilou de aur. P: \u201cExcelent!&#8221; \u015fi pune nota. Mul\u0163umit, candidatul str\u00eenge toate darurile de pe mas\u0103 preciz\u00eend: \u201cAcum v\u0103 rog s\u0103 m\u0103 scuza\u0163i dar am examen \u015fi la fizic\u0103&#8221;. \u015ei dus a fost. <\/p>\n<p>Examen oral, rom\u00e2n\u0103.<br \/>\nViorel conjug\u0103 verbul &#8222;a  merge&#8221;.<br \/>\n&#8222;Eu merg, tu mergi, el merge&#8221;<br \/>\nExaminatorul. &#8222;Mai repede&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8222;Eu fug, tu fugi, el fuge!&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>\u00cen fa\u0163a liceului unde se d\u0103dea &#8221; bac-ul, un \u0163\u0103ran cu un vi\u0163el de funie. Un prof \u00eentreab\u0103:<br \/>\n&#8222;Ce faci bade, cu dobitocul \u0103sta la liceu?&#8221;<br \/>\n&#8222;Apoi, dom&#8217; profesor dobitocu-i \u00een\u0103untru la examen. Vi\u0163elul nu-i dec\u00eet pila&#8221;.<br \/>\nCulese de Dumitru RUSU<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Numai \u00een Rom\u00e2nia, c\u00eend se vorbe\u015fte despre &#8222;bac&#8221;, e folosit verbul \u201ca lua&#8221;. \u00cen Occidentul opulent, la mod\u0103 sunt no\u0163iunile \u201cabsolvire\u201d sau &#8222;promovare&#8221;. Numai la noi, rom\u00e2nii, dup\u0103 fiecare \u201cbac\u201d se scot bancuri. Pilde? Examen de &#8222;bac&#8221;. Profu conduce ostilit\u0103\u0163ile.&hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"more-link-p\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/divertisment\/bai-l-ai-luat\/\">Read more &rarr;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-913","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-divertisment","category-numarul-140"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/913","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=913"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/913\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=913"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=913"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.slineamt.ro\/apostolul\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=913"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}